In the August 14, 2002 issue of the Riverfront Times, Jill Posey-Smith declared, “Neckties have become emblems of pathos, to be tolerated only on bridegrooms, female waiters and the recently deceased.” One can’t help but wonder: How did such a great accessory—the last classic accessory men could truly utilize to show off their personality—find itself so quickly heading the way of the dodo bird?
The trouble first started after the dot-com boom of the late nineties; slackers who had become Internet CEOs overnight had no use for the archaic accessory. But not everyone is convinced that ties are dying out—some would argue that they’re simply evolving. Fatima Mohiuddin, manager of Bucktown men’s boutique Apartment Number 9, says that men are just finding other ways to get their tie fix. “They have so many new options now,” she says. “Things like skinny ties and bow ties.” Bow ties? Surly, she must be kidding. “The best-selling bowties we have are from ‘Band of Brothers,’” she says, “and there are those people who love whatever they put out. So they’re wearing bowties.” But the lack of seeing these new tie styles out on the street can only lead one to assume that ties have subverted to the same position that wine slunk into a few years ago, i.e. “Sure, I’d love to wear it, but what if people realize that I don’t know what I’m doing?”
Men, wearing a tie is like eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup: There’s no wrong way to do it. Rock a skinny tie with a slim-fit button-down and a sexy Justin Timberlake-style hat. Or wear a pink or purple tie with a suit to your next interview, showing that you’re not afraid of being different. Even on a dinner date, a tie is a great way to have your clothes speak for you in a deep Barry White voice, exclaiming, “Girl, I’d cut off my neck circulation for you.” Men, I can think of no greater reason for bringing back the tie than the same reason why we do everything else in life: to impress women. (Josh Eisenberg)
Check out ties—skinny, wide and bowed—at Apartment Number 9, 1804 North Damen, (773)395-2999.
